“Farewell has a sweet sound of reluctance. Goodbye is short and final, a word with teeth sharp to bite through the string that ties past to the future.”
― John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent
So many things don’t happen in one’s life for fear, reluctance, sloth, self-pity, dread of failure. We walk in a circle, around and around, without ever crossing the border of our comfort zone.
I closed my eyes, and I jumped. What I am left with now is fear, and hope.
People look at me and say: “You don’t seem happy to be leaving”. No, I don’t. Only when the positive takes the place of the negative; only when the new improves the old, will we experience moments of bliss. The hardest, scariest moment, is that gray area between the two moments –the transition, the suspension between the time of the jump and the time of the landing. That is where I am. I am suspended, left wandering. I am almost there, and this time, I don’t fear the impact.
This winter doesn’t want to end. It keeps bringing cold, thoughtfulness, and discontent. I am spending this gray time I have left in contemplation, reading, thinking, reflecting on what happiness would be for me. I try to write down my thoughts, to dig deeper, I try to go beyond what I think I already know, but can’t find anything new. The list hasn’t changed, and too many things on that list have been long left un-ticked. Now, I want to believe it can only get better.
Beetroot Hummus with Yogurt and Za’atar
50 gr feta, crumbled, or crumbly goat cheese
Place the beetroot, garlic, chili, yogurt, honey and oil in a food processor and blend to a smooth paste. Transfer to a large bowl and add za’atar and salt to taste. Garnish with spring onions, hazelnuts, and cheese, plus a drizzle of oil. Serve at room temperature.